True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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