ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
