I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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