They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
