Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
