Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
