when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
