dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
