that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
