nut hugger
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
