do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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