her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
