Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
