Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
