we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
