i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
