My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
