I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
