Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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