the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
