Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
