forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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