apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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