I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
