I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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