He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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