Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
