I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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