Got a toothbrush?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize