butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
