i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
