Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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