So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
