I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
