Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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