sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
