You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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