I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
