I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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