he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
