I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
