So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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