There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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