Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Randomize
