Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
