and next time when you feel me up, do it right
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
