u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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