And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
