Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
