i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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