Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
