he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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